chetnaishere

In economics and business decision making , it roughly translates to ' Why are we likely to continue with an investment even if it would be rational to give it up? '

‘Its difficult to maintain friendships in your thirties.’ I hear someone gripe over our Friday night drinks . And I nod vigorously,  agreeing but also unsure and thinking of people who I know for 20 years or close. I am too drunk even to count correctly , I guess. 

She laments about how there’s no time , people move on and how everyone is busy with their lives . I abruptly ask ‘Is that a bad thing , though ? ‘ 

And we fall silent .

Friendship, for most , is this effortless, unbreakable bond — the late-night talks, the inside jokes, the shoulder to cry on. This is true , but what they don’t tell you, what no one tells you, is that friendship has a cost. 

And the cost , for most part, is heavy.

And the older you get , the heavier it gets.

It costs Effort — To plan that elusive trip, that One get together ,  matching schedules , booking flights with stopovers , just so you can spend half day bitching about life face to face, hundreds of phone calls , texts between meetings , missed calls and callbacks , to ditch dates at the last moment to make friendships come alive . 

It costs Time — time you thought you didn’t have, snatched between deadlines and obligations. It costs patience — when misunderstandings turn into silences that stretch longer than you intended. 

It costs us our fragile Ego – the bittersweet acceptance that its OK to let go. To let go of the version of ourselves we were when we first met. To let go of the promises made with the best intentions but forgotten in the chaos.  To let go of the idea that things won’t change. To let go of the friends we’ve loved and lost, to time or distance or something more permanent. 

And last , the most expensive part , it costs us forgiving ourselves – to realise that that you’re not always the person your friend needs you to be, and and its okay to forgive yourself anyway.

It’s also friendship when it’s okay to not meet , when it’s okay to ignore each other to make life happen .It’s knowing when to hold on, when to fight, and when to simply let it be. It’s about trusting that the bond, once formed, is never really broken. 

It just changes, like we all do.

So no , friendship isn’t cheap . Its a sunk cost . It doesn’t come as easy as they show in ‘sex and the city’. It takes failed trips , ugly breakups, moving across continents,  illness and death , to realise friendship has been there, all this while.

Because it was always there . 

Happening . Being . Living.

Friendship may come at a price, but oh, how it’s worth every penny.